Saturday, March 29, 2014

I Feel the Need, the Need to Lead

Robyn issues another statement: Friends, please join me in celebrating the beauty in the utter authenticity of our very normal lives.

I saw posted this morning, an adorable craft involving putting Hershey's kisses in a water balloon, blowing it up (with air!) and wrapping multi-hued glue drenched string around it.  After it dries, you pop the balloon, use tweezers to remove the rubber shards and voila! you have a lacy egg-shaped chocolate filled bauble to use in your kids' easter baskets or in your beautiful centerpiece.

Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

Instead I propose you either foist the easter-basket-making off on your in-laws or hit CVS late Saturday night so you don't accidentally eat the goodies when your emotional state calls for some pampering.

On to today's excellent topic suggestion:  Red or white wine - Which goes better with cleaning house?  When deciding on whether to drink red or white one must take into account what rooms are being cleaned.


Kitchen Recommendation: Chariot Gypsy, $4.99 Trader Joe's. I find a good robust red to be quite satisfying when tackling the kitchen.  It's greasy and takes some effort to cut through the leftover food bits stuck on the counters, the pile of dishes that won't fit in the dishwasher, and the crud on the floor.  As an added bonus, the stronger taste helps to mask the odors of the cleaning solutions required for such tasks.  The only exception would be if you bought the lemon scented Joy dish soap on sale, or if you had the lack of foresight and bought a house with a tiled kitchen floor that has white grout.  Then you must drink a white.


Bathroom recommendation: Vodka or Tequila shot.  Let's face it, the bathroom sucks, whether you are cleaning pee off the ceiling and walls because you have boys, or nail polish and hair out of the sink because you have girls.  The less time you have to spend in there, the better, so you may as well do a shot and get it over with quickly.  As an added bonus, if it is extra dirty, you may need two shots which is perfect since you don't really want to remember cleaning it at all.


Bedroom and living room recommendation: Vinho Verde, $7.99 Trader Joes This light upscale white wine is perfect for drinking while changing sheets or vacuuming because if you spill it, it will not stain.  Nothing is more disappointing than wrestling the last corner of the fitted sheet into place only to jostle your glass and leave a tell-tale red splotch that can't be covered by the pillow. Likewise, it's not helpful to vacuum up all of the cat/dog hair out of the living room rug, and couch, and chair, and then leave a splash of diluted-blood-colored liquid in its place.  You could always blame it on Tiger's mange but this snafu is entirely avoidable.

Remember, I don't just offer advice, I FOLLOW IT!


Please direct positive feedback to me.  Negative feedback you may post on your own blog.  If you have a topic you would like me to address, please suggest it.
   

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