What is this Thing Called "Date Night"?

I had a question from a friend with small children regarding the restaurant list I posted.  She wondered what 'date night' was.

Unlike the folks on Goop, we have no 'staff', no nannies, no cooks, no housekeepers.  But we do have something else - college and high school girls who want to make a buck.  Although it can be impossible to find someone to take your place, it is entirely possible to find a short-term substitute.

The best is of course, your mother or mother-in-law, who will no doubt watch your kids for free.  Sometimes this leads to an obligation for something in return, whether it is the backlash from your kids having brownie sundaes for dinner or the command performance to show up in church the next morning.  Everyone must carefully weigh the built-in costs of family sitters.  This may also include future therapy for your kids.  You might get lucky and just have to watch their dog for the week they go on the cruise, but if not, there is another option.

Thank you, Awkward Family Photos, for illustrating my point perfectly.

For those of you who will not have your alcoholic mother-in-law watch the kids or who have moved from your homestead and left family behind, paid babysitters can be had, provided you go someplace really cheap (and fast!) because the sitter is going to set you back at least ten dollars an hour.  This is why I have so many family friendly restaurants on my list - sometimes it's just easier to bring the kids than find a sitter, get them set up with a pre-made dinner or something frozen before you leave (because NONE of them can cook ANYTHING) and detailed instructions that don't include "Stare at your phone all night and ignore my children."  Sometimes my husband and I are able to have a conversation if the kids are engrossed in their devices across the table from us.  And if I don't have to cook and clean up, I count that as a win.

Perfectly acceptable kid food for date night.  But sometimes I have to open the can because I have an opener that doesn't plug in.  Oh, and I have come home to a half a pot of mac & cheese put in the fridge, with the spoon still in it.

To find a good sitter hit up friends with kids a year or two ahead of yours.  They will have gotten to the point in their relationship with their husbands that it's have a date night or divorce and just go your separate ways.  (Hey, do you think that's what happened with Gwynnie?)  All I know is that there was this guy in the house every morning and night that I vaguely remembered from my single dating days.  You know, I kind of liked him back then so I decided we should probably start dating again and see what developed.

If at first your friends won't give up their sitter, mention you need a sitter for <insert a night when you know she has yoga or bible study or pole dancing classes>.  This will be much less threatening in that you won't be booking the sitter on a night when she may need her.  If this doesn't work, you may have to befriend someone outside of your immediate play-date circle who has older kids that no longer need a sitter.  If they had used a local girl in high school, she may still be around attending college or even better, she may have a younger sister waiting in the wings.  (And by the way, I have nothing against boy/man sitters, but I've just never come across any.)  If you are still coming up empty you need to hit up your older friends who have kids old enough to sit themselves.  Failing that, you can contact a sorority or the school of early childhood education at the local college.  The bonus with a college kid is that they probably drive so you won't have to take them home after your date.  (You have to assume you'll have to stay sober enough to drive since in my experience, men are scared of teenaged girls and want nothing to do with money changing hands or driving them anywhere!)

OK, maybe not these college kids....

If all of these strategies fail, there is still one more option although I've never really liked it.  You can always swap with a friend - that is, you take her kid(s) so she can go on a date with her husband and then she does the same for you.  The problem I have with this is that I can barely stand my own children - forget about someone else's!  Also, the chance you will find two nights in close proximity where neither of you have PTO, Church, volunteer or food co-op meetings, your husbands are home early enough to actually go out for dinner and all the kids involved are virus free is slim to none.

Well, not this week or next week.... let me check next month.

So in answer to your question, Rebecca, 'date night' is something to look forward to when your kids are 'tweens and teens.  Until then, just keep waving to the guy in your bathroom so he remembers you are there too.